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Book of Stupid: National Computer Camp Edition

Created by Ella, who also records with Natalie and Rachel, this is the collection of the stupidest quotes said during her time at NCC. Laugh, smirk, and enjoy.

If you are upset that your stupidity was included, grow up. Think of it as an honor. An honor that people laugh at. Seriously.

Home

July 9th - July 14th

July 15th and 16th

July 17th - July 21st


Sunday, July 9th

  1. "Excuse me, but I have a large amount of milk in my room." -Spencer

    "You can keep it in your minifridge." -Adam

    "Well, you see, it doesn't all fit." -Spencer

    "I'm sure you can find someone else to share your milk with." -Tal

  2. "What if we smell something?" -Spencer

    "That would definitely mean that you have a nose." -Adam


Monday, July 10th

  1. "I just want to, you know, pull on it. It's just there, I can't stand it!" -Ella, in reference to Tal's hair.

  2. "The word of the day is: Atriate!" -Adam

  3. "Galloping is so underrated. I mean look at this, the turn radius you get in galloping is so much better than when you're walking." -Adam


Tuesday, July 11th

  1. "He's the classic male, and grunts and speaks troll." -Ella, in reference to Spencer.

  2. "So I was getting soft serve ice cream, when this guy comes up beside me and shoves me away from the machine! It was awful!" -Spencer

    "That's terrible! A stranger just- just pushed you away? Sue him!" -Ella

  3. "Look, don't touch the Tots. No, Natalie, back away!" -Spencer

  4. "He'll think we're checking out his ass. Which is totally legitimate, since I totally was yesterday." -Anonymous. -Looks around surreptitiously-

  5. "My fingers are twitching!" -Natalie. Don't ask, you don't want to know. -cough cough-

  6. "We shall call them his... features." -Ella, in reference to certain body parts.

  7. "Can we draw pictures of... anything we want?" -Zach, in reference to Photoshop.

    "Um, no. I pretty much trust anyone but you." -Adrian in response.

  8. "Does Harry Potter get pregnant? Is that his magic power? Like, ABRA KA BABY?" -Spencer, during a conversation of Harry Potter fan fics.

  9. "I'm gonna go get some 'decaf'." -Hal, with air quotes.

    "Does that mean diet?" -Spencer

  10. "Dude, I am not going to your gay mosh pit. I do not want to bang against walls, seriously." -Spencer, in reference to Hal's 'mosh pit'.

  11. "What kind of shoes are you wearing, Spence?" -Ella. Don't ask.

  12. "Do you have that Purina water? I love that stuff, I drink it 'til I pass out." -Dustin. -cough Dusty cough-

  13. "Did you just say that you've never sucked [poop]?" -Spence

    "I've eaten it, but never sucked it." -Hal, in response.

  14. "I've seen the Brady Bunch before! Her name was... wait." -Spence, of course. Who else?

  15. "Zach has an 'H'? As in Zackh?" -Ella, while typing this up.

  16. "You look over and suddenly you're on fire. I call that karma!" -Spencer, in reference to Halo.

  17. "This music makes me want to kill a baby."- Spencer

    "This music makes me want to punch a baby." -Dustin, in response to Spencer.

  18. "He's the camp Frap-A-Doodle. Dusty the poodle." -Ella, in reference to Dustin and his curly hair.

  19. "He's my friend! He's my friend!" -Dustin, in reference to Halo.

    "Dude, he's shooting at you!" -Natalie, in response.

  20. "Is that my handwriting?" -Dustin

    "It's a computer printout." -Mike

    "Exactly!" -Dustin

  21. Ella and Nat would like to mention that starting a while ago, an argument about whether black is a color was continued on Tuesday night. They haven't finished arguing, and we have concluded that it is too long to record.

    Nat wishes to mention that black is obviously not a color. Take that Dustin.


Wednesday July 12th

  1. "So one girl is holding me down, one is covering my mouth, and Dustin is slapping me. And Rachel's just standing watch." -Spence

  2. "That sounds like the really bad beginning of a [dirty book.]" -Spence, in reference to the quote above.

  3. "Yes, behind the ear. Behind the ear. No, not in the ear, behind it" -Spence, in reference to Ella scratching behind his ear.

  4. "No, you messed it up. I wouldn't kill a baby, I would kick it. Maybe give it a good punt." -Spence, when reading the Book Of Stupid.

  5. "There should be a spell that prevents guys from getting girls pregnant. Like NOSPERMACUS!" -Spence

  6. "Don't talk Dustin, you sit in your room with your Harry Potter cape and books and don't do anything." -Spence

    "How do you know about the cape?" -Dusty

  7. "Oh yeah we're gonna whoop his ass!" -Random Camper

    "Hey, youre gonna whoop his tush!" -Tal

  8. "I don't know what you were playing, but I was playing dodgeball." -Spence

    "That was four-sqare." -Natalie

    "Maybe that's why I was losing." -Spence

  9. "Ooooo, who's the Harry? Wait! Don't slap me! Draco, I mean who's the Dark-Draco" -Spence, in reference to Ella's crush.

    Ella would like to add that she did in fact slap Spence on the back of the head after that comment.

  10. "Oh! What now? Ha! Macbooks rule, you desktop morons!" -Spence after the blackout, and all the desktop computers shut off.

  11. "Can you get your fingers out of my pants?" -Natalie to Spence

  12. "Who saw Mission: Impossible 3?" -Hal

    "That movie sucked." -Spence

    "I hated it!" -Hal

    "I loved it." -Spence

    "It was so sad it was funny." -Hal

  13. Nat and Ella would like to mention that on Wednesday night, Dustin and Spence had a lengthy conversation on whether galloping or cantering was better. It was definitely Book Of Stupid material, however it was too long to record. You'll just have to take our word for how stupid and pointless it truly was.


Thursday, July 13

  1. "I'd like a robot to help me rule the world. Or a monkey." -Dustin

  2. "Would you rather be the blue jigglypuff?" -Natalie to Dustin after he made a 'jigglypuff' face, and they were looking at jigglypuff pictures.

    "Yea, that one's more manly." -Rachel

  3. "Yeah, uh, this is my computer camp trophy that I got for being nice." -Nat

  4. "Tell us your life story!" -Ella

    "Well, it started when I was born, and I weighed 12 pounds." -Tal

  5. "My cook told me to tell you that... 'Dell went splodey.'" -Tal, during an improv skit.

    "I don't care if your dell went splodey, get a new one!" -Greg, in response.

    "No, you don't understand. Dell was the cook." -Tal

  6. "Rob loves Madalie! Rob loves Madalie!" -Zach

  7. "Look, I'm speaking for Nat, since I'm sure she wouldn't be able to get through this without blushing madly. Rob, your a really great guy, funny, smart, the works, but the thing is, your twelve." -Ella

    "I'm fourteen!" -Rob

    "You're fourteen?!?!" -Ella


Friday, July 14

  1. "It went splodey splodey blody splodey blody splodey." -Tal. We're not sure what he was talking about.

  2. "My stomach feels like an alien replaced it with a parakeet." -Adam. Are you happy now, Adam?

  3. "Assembler is like handing someone toothpaste and a rubber band and saying, 'Here, make a car.' " -Adam

  4. "Is there any abstinance? Sorry, abstance? Hopefully there is abstinance... Anyway," -Adrian

  5. "What do you desire, Adam?" -Adrian

    "Other than hot women?" -Adam

  6. "OMG, coming out party in F1!" -Adam, while his pawn became a queen during chess.

  7. "My face is like a puzzle that doesn't fall apart." -Natalie, in reference to her skin.


Saturday July 15

  1. "I'm a terrible hugger." -Ella

    "Well, when you're holding a shotgun, people don't really want to hug you." -Alex

  2. "This is when she looks like the two year old exorcist girl." -Jason, in reference to St. Elmo's Fire


Saturday Night/Sunday Morning July 15 and 16

  1. "Did you just say that his mom sniffs you?" -Matt

  2. "There's not enough background noise in here. *turns on microwave*" -Matt

  3. "Wait- to say 'I have really bad allergies' in Mexico you say Jesus?" -Matt

  4. "Did you just try to dis me with a for loop?" -Matt, after Jason did in fact try to dis him using a for loop. (Which is some computer program thing.)

  5. "The Native Americans created a lacrosse stick- The George Pocket Rocket Warrior Levitation with Revolution Head." -Austen

    "Somehow I don't think that was the original name." -Matt

  6. "The only thing that makes me hyper is toast." -Matt

  7. "I had spinners on my bike." -Austen

  8. "I like Jewish old people." -Matt

  9. "I want to have a kid who's name is pronounced totally different from how it's spelled, like Zhqw, but pronounced Philip." -Matt

  10. "Wait what are we talking about?" -Natalie

    "We are talking about Austen's dad's stubble of death." -Adric

  11. "My heart belongs to Matt." -Natalie

    "I have a collection of hearts in my basement." -Matt

  12. *NEW* "I had a speech disorder with 's' and 'sh'." -Austen

    "Did you say 'shit' instead of 'sit'?" -Adric

    "Yes!" -Austen

    "Yes! I'm not the only one anymore!" -Adric


Monday, July 17

  1. "You may be good at chess, but you're a complete dumbass!" -Ella, after Dylan lost at Connect Four.

  2. "I have cat-like reflexes, but like a dog!" -Matt

  3. "I don't want to be in the book of stupid, it undermines my intelligence. Wait, it's cool to be in the book of stupid now isn't it?" -Jason


Tuesday, July 18

  1. "What, I like it when people touch me." -Jason.

  2. "What are those cool things hanging in the atrium called?" -Adric

    "I bet you anything... that they are made out of birth control pills." -Austen

  3. "Harry should have taken ninja lessons." -Matt, in reference to Harry getting beaten up in the sixth book by Malfoy.

  4. "But I want a golden spork." -Matt.


Wednesday, July 19

  1. "I was like, 'I forgot to take my fork out of my pants'!" -Adam

    "What?" -Ella

    "No, this morning during breakfast I made up a song like 'If you have a fork in your pants, clap your hands!' and I actually put the fork in my pants, but I forgot about it."

  2. "But ninjas are better than pirates!" -Tal

  3. "That means he's scared. Something scary is about to transpire." -Tal

  4. "Voltageous is not a negative word. So, do not use Rob and voltageous in the same sentence." -Tal

    "Unless there is 'is not' in between them." -Austen

  5. "It's just one of those days. I forgot the fork in my pants, you spelled ninjas with a G, you know." -Adam

  6. "Oh look, mice pads! They're all... micicle!" -Tal

  7. "Instructionize me, captain!" -Tal

  8. "I could say something slightly inappropriate right now." -Adam

    "Well then say it!" -Jason

  9. "That's why my skin is yellow and my flesh is succulent." -Patrick (dutifully recorded by Tal.)


Thursday July 20

  1. "This is instruction, I shouldn't hear gunfire!" -Adric

    "C++ is shooting at me." -Matt

  2. "No, now every time I see Queen Latifa in her silly red dress I notice the look in her eyes like she's doing something, and I think I know what you're planning, comunist bitch!" -Adam, while discussing his strange dreams.


Sunday July 23

  1. "I bet you'll be president." -Natalie, to Ella.

    "I doubt it. I'd get caught doing inapropriate things with Tom Felton in the Oval Office. I can see the headlines. President Dawson Caught Polishing Harry Potter Actor's Wand." - Ella, in response.

  2. "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can emotionally scar me for the rest of my life." -Zak to Ella.


Monday July 24

  1. "Why is my USB drive so hot? It's probably because your Mac sucks." -Zak

    "Stop it with the Mac trash talk! It's like your momma jokes, they're not cool." -Ella

  2. "No, don't. I will cry." -Adric

    "Who willl cry?" -Ella

    "I will!" -Adric. *sniffles*

  3. "All Macs suck!" -Zak

    "No, but Dell's go splodey, don't they Greg?" -Ella

    "Yes, Dell's do go splodey. Enjoy your new computer while it lasts, Zak. Well, Macs go splodey too." -Greg

    "No!" -Ella *guards computer*

    "I said it would go splodey, not that I'm taking it away." -Greg


Tuesday August 1

  1. "I don't think you would want to lick anything in there." -Ella, in reference to the computer.

    "To be fair, you could lick parts of this and not die, but do not lick the power source, right kids?" -Gene


Wednesday August 2

  1. "Look at my pretty bracelet!" -Gene

    "Hey, that's my bling blong!" -Raphael

  2. *NEW* "Unsalted french fries are a crime against people." -Nat

    Ella wishes to add that she wrote this down in the notebook using an eyeliner pencil.

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